Theodora's Song (to tune of "Dedicated Follower of Fashion"
They seek her here, they seek her there
In the hippodrome and the public square
It will make or break her so she's got to dance her best
She is a circus girl by name of Theodora
And when she does her sultry dance
Constantinople falls in a trance
The man who will be emperor is watching from the back
He is a dedicated fan of Theodora
Oh Theodora, Oh Theodora
She rose from tramp to queen with just her wiles
She ruled the world and made it slightly better for the chicks
She was the most wondrous dame since Cleopatra
Oh Theodora, Oh Theodora
Her views on Jesus Christ were not quite proper
She ruled the world and made it safe to be a heretic
She was the most wondrous dame since Cleopatra
They seek her here, they seek her there
In the palace baths and the tower stair
Everywhere the angry mob is calling for her head
They want the bloody demise of Theodora
Oh Theodora, Oh Theodora
She set the palace guards against the people
Once half the mob was dead, the rest could happily agree
She was the most wondrous dame since Cleopatra
She was the most wondrous dame since Cleopatra
She was the most wondrous dame, that Theodora!